Everett: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Everett: Underwear on your head! hahhahahhahahhaa
This kids cracks me up. It's moments like this that I must document. I love this boy so much.
Other Everett news
Today in Nursery our lesson was on Obedience. I asked all the kids to repeat the words "I can obey." Everett refused to say it and then told me he does not like to obey. hahahhahah Oh boy, I'm only laughing because I'm so frustrated right now that I want to cry.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this kid, the battles at home have been rough. And I must say I've lost more than a few. His hair cut may or may not have been my desire to have some control over Everett. hehehehehe ( again a laugh of frustrations)
I've started reading a book about raising strong willed boys and I'm praying I can find a way to teach this boy all the things he needs to learn to become a man of God. I can honestly tell you I feel like I'm in over my head. But I figured I'll start by giving him lots of hugs and kisses and pray that we can find a way to work together.
Slight digression:
A while back Everett being the very stubborn boy that he is was crying over some strange thing I don't remember. (whenever he cries he says "I need you Mama, I need you." over and over. At this very moment I wasn't wanting to be needed. I just wanted him to get over whatever it was and move on.
It was at this moment of frustration a visual reminder came into my mind. My Dad has often said his very first memory is of himself sitting next to a heater crying for his Mother." My Grandma worked and my dad has had a strong desire for mothers to be in the home ever since. I always felt bad for my Dad, I too have memories of crying for my parents, knowing that if they could just hear me cry they would come to me. I remember my mom being gone out of town and I crying for her. For some reason I felt she could hear my cries even though she wasn't there.
As Everett sat crying "I need you Mama, I need you." I felt something I hadn't felt before. I felt fear for my child.
I always thought it was my Grandmother's fault that this memory was so strongly involved in my dad's mind. But for the first time I had the thought "what if it wasn't about my Grandmother, but about my dad". He couldn't sooth himself. He had to blame my Grandmother.
I have never been a fan of "let your child learn to sooth themselves." But with Everett the more I help him the worse he gets.
Lately out of frustrations I have been a bit more mean in my teaching moments. More anger and frustration instead of compassion, understanding and love.
This is new to me, compassion and love come naturally to me, it breaks my heart that I'm having such a hard time right now.
just writing about it is helping me see what harm I may be doing. and my heart hurts. Can I be the mother Everett needs me to be?
So, today I am making a promise, instead of getting angry that he throws his food when I ask him to stop, or when he tells me he won't pick up I am going to hug him and tell him I love him. I pray I can teach Everett with love and patients instead of force. Besides I know that grabbing Everett's hand and forcing him to pick up his toys doesn't work. How do I teach a child who doesn't want to be taught? I pray that I can figure it out,
Since i don't print out the comments with each blog post I decided to add them in this blog because I want to remember them too.
Max and Rebecca said...
I know these frustrations all too well. And I feel like I've been a pretty grumpy parent in a lot of situations recently. My first thought is teaching by love and example is the best thing to be done which is always easier said than done. Also, sometimes I have to tell myself that they learn things line upon line so when I think of the big picture it seems impossible and daunting to raise a worthy Man of God but if I look at each day and do something, just one thing, to help my boys on that path, I'm doing okay. I'm not sure if you were looking for advice or anything with this post but it did cause me to think and I decided to share anyway, just know that you are an excellent mother, and children are very forgiving to our grumpy days.
I so feel your pain! Both my kiddos are strong willed and pretty much think they should do what they want. Parenting is HARDDDDDD for me right now and I even told my husband that if this is hard that I can't imagine how hard they will be as teenagers. To be honest I'm scared! I found myself on my knees several times this morning praying for patience and for guidance on how to teach and love my children when they act like this. Some one told me once, sometimes all you can do is pray and pray some more. So that is what I have been doing today. Hugs friend! P.S. your comments on my blog always make my day. You are the sweetest. And I really hope we can meet up again someday.
Brenley
Consequences.
Consistency.
Pick your battles.
Recognize his own personality and divine worth, maybe not the personality you would pick for him but one that will serve him well in his own life-try to see/imagine a 20 year picture.
Remember how old he is now.
Recognize what is going on in his world that is a big deal and may be hard for him but may seem inconsequential to you- such as changes or growth.
I like that you recognize the past too, I'm sure we carry patterns from generation to generation our job is to try to improve one step one generation at a time.
Give yourself a big pat on the back. Raising a toddler is very hard and very very very demanding and very thankless.
Watch him sleep to help heal your sore mommy heart.
He will be 6,9,12,16 etc before you know it!
There's my two cents. ❤️
