Treat vs Treat

mama singing before bed "Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too." 

Gwenevere:  "I treat them"

Mama:  How do you treat others?

Gwenevere:  "I eat them, yumm yumm."

hahahaha Not that kind of Treat. 

New Bed

Someone likes her new bed very much. 

A Gwenevere goodnight

While cuddling on the rocking chair before bed
James- I love you Gwenevere
Gwenevere- I love you papa...happy birthday papa

Chris and Taylor

I cry every time I read their blog.  Some tears of joy and some tears of pain.  They are a wonderful family, great friends and two of my favorite spiritual heroes.  To read more about them check out their blog http://thehappiestsearch.blogspot.com/ or click on the "button" on the sidebar.  

I found the following message to be a great exert from their blog that gives a background to their adoption journey.  

OPEN ADOPTION?
We feel so privileged to have the opportunity to be a part of Open Adoption. We plan to have an open dialogue about adoption in our home from the very beginning. It will never be a secret where our children come from! Adoption is a blessing that we want to celebrate, not a topic that we hope to disguise or hide.

We hope that our children will always know their biological families. We believe there is no harm in a child knowing they are loved by more than one family! What an honor. Of course, we are very willing to exchange pictures, stories, phone calls, and many, many visits! We hope that you would feel welcome in our home. We hope you will choose to be a part of our family, at whatever degree you are comfortable with.

WHY ADOPTION?

I remember when Chris was a Sophomore at BYU Hawaii. One of his professors just adopted a beautiful baby girl. We were walking around campus, when we ran into them. We admired the little girl, and I remember saying, "We would love to adopt some day!" Strangely enough, her reaction confused me; the look on her face stayed with me until just a few months ago.

You see, she looked at me, as if to say, "Adoption is not a hobby. Not just some thing I decided to 'pick up' in your spare time. This is my life." all while saying nothing at all. Just a very intense, contemplative look. It's hard to explain.

Let me try.

Chris and I have always wanted to adopt. When we were dating, we would talk about having 8 biological children, and adopt 4. Just like that. No biggie. Ya know, it would be easy as breathing. 1, 2, 3, 4... 12. Done. My husband is the most loving man I have ever met. Children are drawn to him, and he loves them very easily. Together it just seemed natural to have a million little 'uns running around the place.

But we figure we would have many of "our very own" first.

That sentence is very hard for me to write. Especially knowing what we know now.

It wasn't until I held my dying son in my arms, before he really ever got to live, that I realized what was expected of us. There were so many revelations given to us that day, and they would continue on through out the following days. I would love to share with you the general idea, and speak to you more personally about each of them some day.

First, we knew that we were not to have any more biological children. It was as clear as day; as if a person divine stood in the room, clearly speaking the words to us. More specifically so, it was not simply, "YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ANY MORE BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN", but "YOU ARE NEVER TO ATTEMPT TO HAVE ANY MORE BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN. MOVE FORWARD." Turns out, my pregnancy/delivery was so life threatening, the medical aspect only later confirmed what was expected of us. But we already knew.

Knowing I would never be pregnant again was a hard thing for me to deal with. We had been pregnant 11 times. Each miscarriage was dealt with as a minor set back, and we would plow forward, determined to get pregnant once again. I never once wavered, or thought, "this is it", until the expectation was as clear as day. MOVE FORWARD.

For days we marveled at how blessed we were to have our two sons, and looked forward to the day we would get to raise our sweet baby in heaven. We were grateful, happy, and awestruck at how lucky we were to have our healthy, happy boys that were strong, wild, and full of life. We came to the conclusion that our little family of 4 was just as perfect as the family of 14 we had envisioned for ourselves.

Only once I felt content with our life, and I didn't long for a life I would never have, Heavenly Father clearly let us know that we still had specific spirits that needed to come to our family. The realization that we were supposed to adopt was not shocking. It was a natural transition.

We decided to look into adoption a year or two down the road.

But then, I felt it like a wave: No. You need to start the adoption process NOW. I remember saying a prayer. I knew what was expected of me, but it seemed impossible. That day, I decided I would turn my will over to the Lord. I would do whatever he intended me to do, but he had to guide us both, because we were walking blind at this point.

Through sacred experiences that very day, being in the right place, at the right time, having friends that listened to the Holy Ghost, we knew, without a doubt, adoption was always supposed to be a part of our life. This was always the plan! It was not the backup plan. It was not the conciliation prize. It was not some sort of hobby that we could pick up later in life, after all "our very own" came. It was not random.

We know that we have specific little spirits that are waiting to come to our family. We need to find them, and make sure we do not stop until they are all found. I'm honored to know that they will come through the miracle of adoption; that was the plan from the beginning.

So I understand what that look was all about from the woman years before. She was saying, "I did not choose adoption. The Lord did. And I listened."

Friday post

Well it's 2:30pm and I'm still in my pjs.  Not uncommon for me but still a little disappointing.  To make up for my lack of hygene and style I do want to mention, I've cleaned the kitchen, started a pork roast, did some apartment complex work, fed Gwenevere, read stories, played ring around the rosies, put Gwenevere down for a nap, called a guy on craigslist about a car he's selling, and decided to blog instead of shower. 

Last night James took Gwenevere into her room to get PJs on.  They spent about an hour playing in the bedroom and here are a few pictures to prove it.

Playing bean bag toss with Monkey Gorge

"

Who says you have to toss the bean bag, if I just put it in the whole then for sure I'm going to make it"

"Geee this is fun"

Rocking in my rocking chair

Reading books

Showing off my super cool book shelf Papa made

Turning on my fan

Playing peek a boo in my closet

BOO

Favorite Moments

Peace after the storm

Baby buns

Making Brownies for the first time together

Tasting the brownie mix

Guess the baby's gender

I always find it amusing when people tell me they think I'm going to have a boy or girl baby.  Lately i've had a lot of people say they think it's a boy.  Then there are times when people ask me what I think the baby will be and I honestly have no idea.  I keep thinking it's a boy but i'm not sure if that's because so many people say they think i'm going to have a boy or not.

With Gwenevere I was so sure I was having a boy and instead I had a little girl.  So who knows.  either way, we are super excited.  I love the idea of a boy, James would love to have a son, and Gwenevere loves Thomas the train and tools and other fun boy things, I'm sure she would get along great with a little brother.  Besides, my heart just melts every time Gwenevere says the name "Thomas".  It's my maiden name and I've always thought it would be fun to name a boy Thomas.  

But having a little Girl would be wonderful too.  I didn't go over board with the whole girl theme when Gwenevere was born, (I think it's the fact that I was still hoping for a boy).  but this time around I'm getting so excited for all the girlie things about having a baby girl.  I've already designed a new car seat cover for a little girl. I have plans for cute matching bedding for Gwenevere and her sister's room. And I want to make matching dresses for Gwenevere and the baby.  And there are about a hundred other girly things I want to do.  I love my sisters and I would love for Gwenevere to have a sister close in age.

So either way we are very excited.  Now tell us what you think we're going to have.  vote on the side of our blog.   

Babies"R"Us - Baby Registry

Babies"R"Us - Baby Registry

Getting excited for baby to come. One more month and we'll find out if it's a girl or boy. At my last appointment the baby was really busy kicking. We've got an active child on the way.

Valentine Flowers

Gwenevere's sayings

Gwenevere has been saying the funniest things lately but with my pregnant mind I seem to forget them before I have a chance to write them down.  So before another funny quote is lost forever....

Gwenevere is in the bathtub playing while James is giving her a bath.  Gwenevere puts a wash cloth over papa's head a says. "Where's Papa?"  then removes the cloth quickly and says "There he is."

We haven't played peek a boo with Gwenevere for a long time so it came out so funny.


I took Gwenevere to the new county Library and Wednesday.  It's only two blocks away.  Yippee.
Each time we drive passed the new library Gwenevere gets so excited and says "OH, Two libraries."


Gwenevere was singing "Popcorn Popping" to Papa while papa was on the computer pulling up Netflix.  As soon as the netflix web page opened Gwenevere stopped singing and yelled "THOMAS".  We've watched a lot of Thomas the Train on Netflix lately.  Thanks Tessha for letting us use your netflix account I don't know what we'd do without it.

15 weeks and counting

Each Wednesday morning when I check my e-mail I get a letter from babycenter.com.  These are probably my favorite e-mails all week.  Except for Grace's mission letters.  Here's what today's e-mail said.

Hello, Elizabeth!
      Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. 

Valentines day rewind

oh yesterday was great.  I just wish I could rewind and do it again.

James didn't have school so we slept in.  After Breakfast James asked me if I wanted to run some errands while he watched Gwenevere.  It was pretty nice to go run errands and not worry about snacks, diapers, nap times, or anything else.

When I came home, James was putting Gwenevere down for a nap, we ate lunch and just hung out for a while.  Then it was time to wake Gwenevere up and take her to the sitters.  James had a denist appointment, (the not so fun part of our day) but we went to REI after.  So fun.

Then we picked up Gwenevere.  We went to the grocery store and James bought some crab for dinner. 

James also bought me flowers and we bought Gwenevere a Valentines gift as well.  We had a very nice evening.  We watched Katie, a little girl Gwenevere's age, so that katie's parents could have a Valentines dates.  Then we went to bed earlier something we've needed for the last several nights.

Gwenevere counts

Yesterday while at the park Gwenevere counted to five.  I was so amazed.  She hasn't done it since and every time I ask she says "No". 

But I am still impressed.  Way to go Gwenevere

For the Beauty of the Earth

Life is hard, and no one, I mean no one has it easy.  But what makes life worth living, is that fact that we can change our perspectives and learn from what we are given.  The human mind is the most resilient  organism on the entire planet.  Science raves about beetles and other prehistoric animals that have evolved and continue to survive unpredictable odds, but so have Humans. 

Humans have also been the cause of much of our own inflections,  our choices to the environment, to ourselves and to other relations.  In a world where little hope and faith exist there are many who still look for the joy, the beauty, and good in human life. 

You can be one of those people who can see negative forces but choice to embrace the good of life.

Rough and Tough

Gwenevere is 100 percent girl.  She loves dolls and dresses, kissing, and hugging, and pink.  yes I said pink.  The one color I dislike is the one color Gwenevere loves.  She's not a pinkaholic but she definitely knows what pink is and loves it. 

But with all the pink, and babies, and girlie side of Gwenevere she also has a rough and tough side.  Thanks to the many boy (space) friends, Gwenevere plays with.  Gwenevere has developed a new love.  TRAINS.  I was watching some boys for an hour while their mom had a dentist appointment.  They brought over Thomas the Train movies.  Gwenevere knows Thomas the train as "Preston the Train"  Since her cousin Preston loves Thomas the Train too.

Well, lately Gwenevere has been asking to watch Thomas the Train,  Thank you Netflix.

Yesterday at Church we sat next to another family with a small boy Gwenevere's age who had a Thomas the Train toy Gwenevere played with.  At the end of Scarament meeting Gwenevere started to cry when I made her return Thomas the Train.  She kept saying "My Thomas, My Thomas".  Hahahaha  I love it.

So this weekend we will be picking up James' old train set for Gwenevere to play with. 

James' birthday wrap up

So James had a birthday on Thursday.  Happy birthday James.  You are the love of my life, my best friend, the warmest heater, the brightest smile, love of my life.

On Tuesday Gwenevere and I went to the store and Gwenevere picked out a present for Papa. 
While walking through the store, on are way to the electronic section where I figured we'd pick out a movie for Papa, Gwenevere spotted an Elmo Shirt in the men's department.  So it truly was Gwenevere who picked out her papa's gift.
 
On Wednesday we wrapped the presents, and since Gwenevere was so excited for Papa to open his present.  And I was almost sure she was going to say "Elmo Shirt, Papa, Elmo Shirt,"  James opened his presents the day before his birthday. 

Gwenevere convinced Papa to wear his new Elmo shirt so she could wear his other shirt the rest of the night.

 

We also gave him a new white shirt designed by me.  Yep I said designed my me.  I order the shirt off of www.itailor.com.  James likes is white shirts a special way and after spending two months going to every department store I could think of, shopping online, and finding nothing that fits James standards I decided it would be worth it.  So if you find yourself a picky white shirt wearer or a spouse of a pick white shirt wearer, I would recommend www.itailor.com.  It's wonderful.

So on Thursday, James actual birthday, James went to school.  When he came home we ate clam chowder in bread bowls and then took Gwenevere to a friends house so James and I could attend an REI class on cross country skiing.  It got me all excited for cold snow and an outdoor adventure before the snow melts.

But On Saturday we had the actual birthday celebration.  We invited a few friends for dinner and dessert.  We made individual cookie pies and put ice cream on top right after the cookie pies came out of the over.  It was Heaven. 

So that is it,  James is now 28 years old and with all the schooling he's accomplished in the last year I'm confident to say wiser too.

Happy Birthday James

Parasite attach

Lately I feel my brain has a computer virus that has caused it to think extra slow.  You know what I'm talking about, the kind of viruses that make you want to throw your computer out the window.

But I have a good excuse. I have a parasite growing in me.  You ask, what is a parasite?  From the dictionary: a parasite is An organism that obtains nourishment and shelter in another organism.

Yep, most people like to call this parasite, a fetus and the nine month duration of invasion, a pregnancy but lately it feels more like a parasite.

But on a good note.  This parasite has one very happy older sister who is just dieing to meet him or her.  The other day Gwenevere came up to me, kissed my stomach and then punched it while saying "Baby come out". 

Trying to explain to Gwenevere that this baby isn't going to coming out anytime soon has been entertaining to say the least.  I try to tell Gwenevere that the baby won't be coming till Gwenevere is almost 3 years old.  As if that explains how long it's going to take.  But it's fun to see that she is so excited.  Gwenevere has several friends who have recently added another baby to their families and Gwenevere is on a baby kick.  Several times through out the day I will find myself holding baby dolls Gwenevere brings to me crying saying "Mama, mama."  We pretend to feed her baby dolls, change their diapers, and wrap them in up to cuddle them. 

It's been fun watching Gwenevere really get involved in the whole baby process.  I think i'm going to use this baby excitement to potty train Gwenevere.  I figured I'll start telling Gwenevere that she needs to learn to potty on the toilet all the time in order for baby to come.  And that when she is wearing panties all day long we will go to a special toy store and pick out a new baby doll for her. 

Gwenevere has three baby dolls that she loves, one that is really tiny, one that is huge, it's about the same size and Gwenevere, and one that is is all cloths with a plastic underlining that crinkles and creeks every time it's touched.  I strongly believe that every little girl needs one very nice doll.  So if Gwenevere is ready to be potty trained it's time to invest in a nice quality doll.

Okay so i'm just rambling now, maybe it's the fact that I've been lazy and having taken any pictures lately so i'm not sure what will make this post complete.  But I'll stop, and relieve you from this monologue. 

Happy Birthday

Tender mercies

I noticed this picture on my mom's blog and it melted my heart.  

That's my little girl.