Raising Everett age 3

 Everett does not like change.  This has been a fact since he was very little.  He's always been my hardest baby and at times I feel so confused and frustrated.  I don't know how to help him, I just try to be patient and loving and consistent.   Lately my frustrations and confusion has reached a new level.

Ever since switching to Sunbeams, Everett's behavior has been ten times worse.  I keep getting the prompting to step in and do something.  But every time I talk to the Primary presidency they turn me away saying he's fine.  They will figure it out.  He has an amazing teacher but her burdens are heavy and I wonder if I could help at all.  I called her up to talk about it and she says Everett is fine.  And she's got it under control.

I just hope she's a good fit for him.

Last week Everett took off out of his class and started running the halls.  I heard his teacher calling after him (I'm on the opposite side of the building.)  I was the only person in Nursery otherwise I probably would have left to go find him.  My heart didn't settle down until eventually someone caught Everett and brought him back to me after Church.  I hate feeling like I have no control over my child's environment.   I keep telling myself this is good for me.  I need to be able to trust others with my kids.  But everything in my body keeps telling me to step in and make a change.  I feel like i've tried and the only way for me to make a change is to simply remove Everett from Primary.   I really don't know what else to do.

James keeps telling me that it's not working in Primary and that something needs to be done.  He too feels like we're at a lose.  It's frustrating to feel hopeless.

Everett's anger and frustration and determination to control his environment has swept out over every aspect of his life.  He fights about everything.  He doesn't want to get dress, wear shoes, eat food unless it's his idea, he makes it or it's just right.  He went a whole week refusing to eat any kind of food except chocolate milk.  He throws huge tantrums about every tiny little thing.  He doesn't want to play with his friends anymore.  He just begs to see his baby cousin Benjamin who happens to live in Germany.

Everett says he feels angry, and mad.  He tries to hit, kick and bite.

Please don't judge my 3 year old.

I remember vividly worrying about Gwenevere at the age of 3.  We didn't go visit family because I didn't want anyone to see her tantrums.  I felt like a failed parent.   But it passed and things slowly got better.

With Grace I remember James coming home from work one summer's day and I was in tears.  I told him Grace was the worse and that I'd ruined her.  But that passed too.

A few weeks ago I was telling my friend I was afraid Everett was turning autistic, that he needed counseling and I needed help.  With frustration steaming through my body, my friend started laughing hysterically, immediately releasing my fears.

"Can you just imagine, Everett sitting on your couch, butt naked, sipping chocolate milk talking to his counselor?  'My mom, is angry with me, and I don't understand why.'"    With that vivid illustration from my friends point of view, I was once again reminded this too shall pass.

I know 3 year olds are hard.  I've done twice before and I can do it again.

I keep telling myself "Just get him to age 4"  baby steps.

Pictures

Our life has been full of good times and it's about time I document the good.  

James got a thank you card in the mail from his work.  I love seeing the impact he has for good in the world.  

James' birthday was overshadowed by Gwenevere's baptism but the kids where excited to make cookies for papa's Birthday cake.  Next year we'll make his birthday extra special.  But Baptizing Gwenevere was pretty special this year.  

We went shoe shopping for Gwenevere's baptism and Grace found her cinderella shoe.  The only one left, and it was her size.  I told her to put it back and she did so without complaint.  When we went back to purchase the actual shoes Gwenevere wanted for her baptism I couldn't say no to Grace.  There has never been a shoe that was meant to be her's like this little red high heel.  She wears the shoes 3-4 times a week and is great at skipping in high heels.  It's truly impressive.  

lately Everett has been sleeping with the girls.  They all three sleep better when they are together.  

We finally got snow.  It was a good 4 inches and we played all morning.  the air was warm and the world seemed still.

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Everett wasn't willing to put on his snow clothes so he watched from inside

First time in my life I have a lipstick color I like.  

 We attended a friend's birthday party in Ruston Way and the party was phenomenal like always.

He takes my breath away

Facepainting is always a highlight to Amara's parties.

The Snow Moon on our way home from the party was breathtaking.  

We had a bathtime party after the party to get the facepaint off.  

the Monday after Gwenevere's baptism she decided to write in her journal and to send thank you cards.  I love when she is self motivated to work hard.  She still has several cards to write so if you haven't gotten one yet.  We're working on it slowly. 

Gwenevere got a package from cousins the monday after her baptism.  It had a tie dying kit and testimonies.  

I got a package in the mail for baltic essentials which meant James had ordered a surprise for me.  

I love my necklace.  

the monday before Valentine's day, james had the day off.  We still had school we needed to get down but the weather was lovely and the day was relaxing.  

Benjamin and Gwenevere working on their science project.    We observed our african dwarf frog, read an article about the african dwarf frogs and will be creating a poster for a presentation next week.  

While we were working on Gwenevere's science project another surprise package came in the mail.  James had ordered me a seiko watch.  and I love it.  

While Gwenevere and Ben where studying frogs Grace was creating her knew story.  Harry Potter has a sister.  She is his Sister and she has a cat for a pet.  

 After Gwenevere and Ben where finished with school it was Everett's turn.  We hosted Boy school in the afternoon.  We made Valentine envelopes and exchanged valentines.  Then we played outside.

Everett's valentine envelope 

marble mazes for our opening activity

J is for jumping.  Getting pictures for next week's lesson

After boy school we planned to go on a family hike but everyone was having fun playing outside so we stayed home instead.

it get's 50 degrees and sunny and this girl thinks it's spring.  

James dropping a tennis ball off the roof.  

The kids love playing in the bed of the truck.  

Our neighbors took a trip to California and we watched their bunnies while they where away.  In return the braught back chocolate frogs for all the kids.  It was the best.  

I love that Grace watches TV and reads books in this pose.  ALL THE TIME

 Valentine's day was low key since we had a fun family day the day before.  We went to Gwenevere's gymnastics, ran a few errands, stopped by Papa's work to give him his valentine gift, a plant the girls picked out and hung out around the house.  I don't recall what we had for dinner, James had made an amazing meal a few days earlier that we called our valentine meal.

this year I really felt the desire to share love to our neighbors.  So the girls picked out a few plants and we left valentine's by all our neighbors doors.  

 Gwenevere was having a really hard time listening without being rude.  The whole day I was battling an inner explosion of frustration.  Between Everett and Gwenevere their behavior was monstrous and I was getting fed up with trying to correct their behavior in a loving way and not seeing any change.  Finally around 5pm I lost it.  I flat out yelled at Gwenevere, real anger released from my body it felt good to get it off my chest but immediately I felt bad.   It was valentine's day.  I was trying to be kind, and I didn't do it.  When james came home I slipped away to soak in the bath and to recharge from an emotional exhausting day.  While soaking in the tube a little note was slipped under the door.  Gwenevere gave me the most beautiful Valentine's day note.  Even when I make mistakes she still loves me and is willing to express her love to me.   We got our Pajamas on and all cuddled and read stories before going to bed.  Gwenevere had another rebuttal at bedtime with more monstrous behavior but I was able to patiently persist in correcting the behavior.   James and I tag teamed the tantrum which also helped.

I pray this is just a phase and that Gwenevere will be back to her quick obeying and positive behavior soon.   In the meantime I have a beautiful note next to my bed that reminds me how much I love my Gwenevere.

On Wednesday Grace received a package in the mail for Grandpa Cox.  Grandpa Cox is so good about sending surprises to each of the grandkids.  With Grace being my pleasant child these days I was excited that she was the one to receive the surprise this time.  It was a playmobil set.  It actually was the exact same set she got for her birthday so she was a little disappointed but she loved the case that the playmobil came in.  She took it to school to show her friends and had fun sharing her two sets of playmobil.  

 I started attending a religion class Thursday mornings.  The kids aren't too excited to go to nursery again since they go two other days a week when I work out.  But they have been supportive and I have really enjoyed my religion class.  This past thursday after my religion class the warm weather tempted us to forgo school work and enjoy they day.  We drove to the Hands on Children's museum in Olympia (the whole time listening to books on CD).  We ate our picnic lunch and then went inside.

Everett had a huge tantrum about putting on his shoes so we could go inside the museum.  It lasted 15 minutes and I was tempted to put the kids back in the car and drive home without going in.  But at last I wrestled his shoes on and we went inside.  within minutes all three kids where filled with joy.  It's been weeks since I saw Everett truly happy.  The museum was just what we needed.  

While at my religion class I was challenged to keep my eyes open for symbols of Christ.  "and all things which have been given of God from the beginning of the world, unto man, are the typifying of him. " 2 Nephi 11:4.  It's been fun to see things and think "how does this testify of Christ?"   As I worked out Friday morning I felt my body was a symbol of Christ as my body was created by him.  At the mechanics while I was waiting for my oil change I saw a loaf of bread sitting on the counter reminding me that Christ is the Bread of life.  While in the car listening to NPR I was reminded that Christ knows all and that all the world news I was hearing he knew would happen and he had prepared a plan that would let us be lead back to him.  I hope to learn more through this challenge.   

meanwhile back at the museum....

Grace made an aquarium

the girls opened up a restaurant and I was their first guest.  The food was delicious too.  ;-) 

We played outside the museum on their trikes

The museum added a lighthouse exhibit that was fun to explore.  

they have this creepy bigfoot statue.  Gwenevere wanted me to take a picture for Mike Johnson.  

Everett had a few more tantrums while we where at the museum.  but for the most part we had fun.  

Friday was another errand day.  I went to workout, get the oil changed, go to the eye doctor, attend a babyshower and enjoy and girls night out.  James hung out with the kids, helped the girls tie dye, cleaned out the fish tank and then took the kids to the pet store to get new fish.   

Everett taking his 4pm nap,  If Everett was a newborn this would be his birth announcement photo.  LOL

  

Tie dying with Papa

new glasses choices.  I ended up getting the exact same pair that I already own.  LOL  I guess I'm not as adventurous and I think I am sometimes.  I did order a second pair of glasses that are tinted for the summer.  YIPPEE!

 Today James is at work,  the girls are at birthday party and Everett and I are hanging out enjoying some alone time.  Life is good.