Changes for the Roemhildt Family

Back in December we where contemplating moving when James' job ended in June.  Then we found out we where expecting another baby.  With medical needs we decided to put the idea of moving out of our heads.  But like any good prompting, it didn't just go away.  For months we wondering how we'd make everything work out.  Then in April James got some news from his work that reassured him that we'd be okay moving.  This meant leaving behind a job offer he had already be given to find something new.  It felt right so we pursued. 

James' last day of work

 We spent most of May packing up stuff, donating old items and working on house projects.   James found a job opening in Eugene OR that he was very interested in, and then he noticed another job in Springfield OR that was also interesting.  He decided to apply to both.  By the time he's application was submitted the Eugene job was no longer available but the Springfield job wanted an interview him.  We drove down for the interview and James felt good about the job. 

Now that he had a new job lined up we decided to try selling our house by owner with the help of my brother Will. 

  

We took a lot of trips to home depot

I got to get a few housewarming items to prepare for the sell

Our last trip to Home Depot before we listed the house

Installing new doors for the kids bedrooms

James' work ended May 25th and on June 4th our house on on the market. 

Remodeled downstairs bathroom

 

Once our house was listed we drove down to Eugene OR and started house shopping.  James needed to sign some paperwork for his new job and then we spent three days touring Eugene, Springfield, and the surrounding area.   

The house shopping was interesting.  We met with our Realtor for the first time.  We had been emailing back and forth for over a month and had sent her a list of houses we wanted to see.  

The first day she took us to a few houses that weren't on our list.  They where on the higher end of budget and in fancy neighborhoods.  Then she told us that she wasn't going to show us a house on our list because it was on a busy road.  I knew she was trying to be protective but I was very put off by her response.  James and I didn't need a mother we wanted a Realtor that would show us the houses we wanted to look at.  When I expressed my desires to find a house that was cheap and had a large backyard, She looked at me as if I was crazy.  I told her that the neighborhood wasn't as important to me as the price and the yard.  Okay so we all know i'm crazy but I also know we didn't have a lot of time to search for a house so I really wanted my opinions to matter.  

Anyway, after a good night's sleep. we went shopping some more.  This time we saw the houses on our list and a few of them had potential.  Nothing stood out as being "The house"  but a few of them we could see ourselves living in.  

The third day, Lori had a better idea of what we wanted so she added a few more houses to our shopping and we found the ideal house.  Okay so it wasn't ideal ideal.  It wasn't out in the country with a few acres, but it was budget friendly with a big backyard.   

I had instantly fallen in love with the house and was ready to put an offer in on the house.  

Lori suggested we wait until our Tacoma house had an offer before we submitted an offer.  This made since so we started our drive back to Tacoma wondering when we'd get an offer.  

A few hours later we stopped by Rebecca and Max's house to see them.  They weren't home so we played in their yard for a bit.  While we let the kids play.  We got an email with a offer for our Tacoma home.  The offer was for 15,000.00 more than our listing price and the buyers where a young family excited to establish roots in the Tacoma area.  A dream come true.  

After a few phone calls, emails and text messages consulting Will and getting more information we continued our drive back home.  We stopped one more time at our friends Michael and Sherilyn's house to pick cherries and catch up.  

When we got back home late Thursday night.  James was second guessing the idea of putting an offer on the house.  So we decided not to do anything just yet. 

We spent friday running around like a hen with its head cut off,  printing papers, signing documents and scanning documents.  It was a very stressful day.  The buyers realtor was pushy and we had no idea what we where doing.  But by a miracle it all came together with 15 minutes to spear.  

After an exhausting week and an emotional roller coaster we took the day off on Saturday and just pretended life was normal.  

I took the girls to the ballet.  James and Everett had a daddy son date.  then we went to a friend's birthday party that evening.  

Daddy Son Date catching Dinosaurs 

It's been a crazy whirlwind of emotions, but overall it's been good.

To be continued......

James stops in mid sentisense to tell me 

"You look really beautiful today."

"Thank you."

Then jokingly ask "Is it because I don't have a bra on?"

James replies   "I didn't even realize you didn't have a bra on, your belly is holding them up."  hahhhahaha

And this is why I love this man.  

Ramblings of a pregnant mama. And inspirations from the Lord

 Friday I was dragging my feet all day and didn't get much accomplished.  I was running on 3 hours of sleep. I was so tired.
Today (saturday) James went to work and I took Gwenevere to the Stake Activity Day camp.  She did archery and crayon melting art. She had a blast. While she was at camp I drove the hour long drive to my midwife's office to drop of a present and to pick up a second birthing book another one of her clients gifted to me.  I got a few more things from the buy nothing group, cat food, a boppy cover ( I still need to find a boppy pillow but at least I have a cover) a baby towel, a few baby toys and a teething necklace. After running errands all morning I picked up Gwenevere from her camp and met James at home.  He got off early. They discharged a few more patients to his last week of work should be pretty light. He doesn't have to work on Monday and then he said the three other days should be short days. Crazy.

I didn't realized that we needed to get pre-approved for a home loan before we put our home on the market.  But James was telling me we needed to do that soon. So I spend an hour this afternoon applying for a home loan.  yeak. I have only applied for one so far. Since our current home loan is with our bank and I love that when I sign into my checking account I can see all our accounts, our mortgage and our credit card all at once I figured I'd start there.  But I need to shop around and see what other mortgage rates we might find if we go through a broker to get our home loan. I contacted our realtor from Eugene and asked for brokers referrals because she had mentioned she had a few brokers that could work with us.

As I was going through the application process I realized I had to do all our applications asap because as soon as James' job ends we won't have any proof of income until he starts working again in June.   eeek.

Anyway,  After a whirlwind of realizations I went to work.  I finally finished painting Grace and Everett's bedroom.  I really wanted to carpet clean their carpets too. Since most of their furniture is out of their room but bedtime was coming and James suggested waiting till monday when the weather will be nice and hopefully help the carpets dry faster.

James also got an email letting us know the vanity was in store ready to be picked up.  So for dinner we went to costco (right next to home depot). We picked up the vanity. It took four workers to load the vanity into our car.  When we got home James said our bathroom floor wasn't ready so he'd have to install the vanity tomorrow or Monday. But since we didn't have any help to unload the big beast we left in the car for the night.  

oh the joys.

James finished the grout in the bathroom, and painted our stairs.  The paint on our stairs has to sit for 72 hours before we can walk on them.  So in order to get to our basement we have to go outside and around the house.  Friday night I slept upstairs with the kids since there was no way for us to get them if they woke in the middle of the night.  Our bedroom is downstairs. I was worried about being on a different floor when we first moved in. If someone broke into our house they would be able to access the kids bedrooms before we'd be able to get to them.  But now I love being below them. I can hear them when they get out of bed. and they can't seem to hear us. it's the best.

anyway we have one more day before we can use our stairs again.  Yay

in between the crazy,  I've been obsessed with watching youtube videos of home births.  I started freaking out about not being prepared for baby. Getting the book got me started.  And then my midwifery facebook group started sharing their own home birth videos and I was hooked.

confession time:  Let me backup a minute.  Actually this whole panic for not being ready actually started when I did some research about midwives in Eugene.  After talking with one midwife on the phone and two others by e-mail I started to think it was going to be impossible for me to find a midwife.  I started to feel overwhelmed by the idea that I would need to have a hospital birth again. After some major worry I decided to reach out to a facebook group called LDS natural minded Moms.

I thought that if I heard other moms talk about having a hospital birth after experiencing a home birth I might feel better about everything.  It's really frustrating how intense my feelings are towards back to a hospital to birth. I keep praying that if a hospital birth is the best thing for me and baby that the Lord will bring me peace, so I can move forward with that choice.  But the more I pray for peace the more I feel uncomfortable with the idea.

Anyway.  I asked this facebook page for stories from other moms who have had similar situations, in hopes that could help calm my fears. Instead I had several moms suggest the idea of unassisted birth.  AKA no medical assistance. Since I felt so uncomfortable with the idea of a hospital birth I decided I should look into this crazy idea.  There is no way James would be on board with an unassisted birth. So I don't think we'd go that route but in my crazy head I have had the thoughts:  I'll just give birth while James is at work that way he'll come home and I'll have already delivered the baby and he won't take to my hospital. hahahahhaha (Clarification: I would never do that, it's just my crazy pregnancy hormones talking)

And honestly I think it would be very cool to learn all about how to catch a baby, make sure the cord is in a safe place, how to deliver the placenta and what signs to look for to make sure the entire placenta was delivered.

anyway,  one of the other moms in the group share this unassisted home birth website Sadiel's Unassisted Home Birth | Beyond Vitality 

I've been dying to show someone,  But I know this is a crazy line and so many people would be like "you are crazy".  Please understand I know how crazy this all sounds.

if you want to watch the movie let me know what you think.

anyway.  I saw this video and that got me thinking I need to be more prepared.  mentally, physically and spiritually more prepared for this baby's birth experience.  It's been so difficult to visualize this baby's birth just because I don't know where we'll be living, who my provider will be or where this baby is going to be born.

Watching this unassisted homebirth brought so much peace to me.

Then a few days later other moms from my midwife's facebook group started, out of the blue, sharing their home birth videos and I saw how far back Terah was in the videos.  It was amazing to watch her work. She is truly gifted from Heavenly Father and I know with all my heart she is fulfilling her mission her on earth by helping moms bring Heavenly Father's children into this world peacefully.

Home waterbirth of Rilla Violet!

at minute 2:22 you will see Heather (she's Terah's assistant at the moment and is currently studying to become a midwife herself)  she is checking baby's heartbeat to make sure baby is happy.

The first time you see Terah in the video is at minute 3:49 as she points out that the baby's head is crowning.

Terah is wearing a light brown sweater and is watching very carefully to make sure everything is safe. Then later you see Terah ask to help the mom. Terah helped just a little because she felt like her shoulders were slow in coming out.

The next video i've watched is also a baby delivered by Terah.  It's a bit more. You can tell the mom is cussing, and at some points you can hear the mom moaning (totally normal) but I love this video because again you see Terah being there but also letting things happen on their own.

Magnolia's Birth Story

Terah gives the mom a hug at minute 1:34.  at minute 2:23 mama shouts out and in the background you see Terah.  She doesn't even look up. She knows everything is just fine. I just love that about her.  Terah has an amazing sense of peace. I think that is why I needed her for this pregnancy. She has truly been a safe place of peace and comfort for me during my crazy ride of emotions.  It just blows my mind that Terah has gone through the terror of losing a child just a few months ago and is still so peaceful. Her faith is bright and I'm so grateful to know her.

So long story short.  I've been thinking a lot about birthing lately.   A friend of mine asked "What big baby items are on your list of wanting to still get?"   And I honestly draw a blank. I have no idea what we still need. I'd like to get a nice mattress pad for our pack n play.  But maybe we'll move into a house that has a nice size master bedroom. If that's the case and if we are able I'd like to get a cheap Ikea crib.  They are the perfect height for bed sharing. the crib mattress sits at the same height as your own bed and you remove one side of the crib and push the crib up next to the bed.  that way baby is sleeping in his own bed but is also right next to me for night feedings.

I know we need more clothes. And probably baby bottles or something.  I know we have a ton of baby blankets so we're set on blankets yet I find myself shopping LouLou and company almost three times a week.  It's a baby blanket website and I don't need any more blankets. I already bought baby a special LouLou and company blanket.

But secretly I've been thinking about my dream I head early on.  The one where James brings me this baby wrap in a white blanket and I fall instantly in love with the baby.   I need to just go buy some jersey knit white fabric and make a swaddling blanket for him. But now it not the right time to start crafting.  I just need to be patient and hope that there is enough time after we move.

During my dive into homebirth videos.  I found a link to some birthing and parenting podcasts that I started to listen to while I painted.  One of the episodes was about a woman who had anticipated a homebirth but when her water broke at 30 weeks she ended up delivering at a hospital.  She talks about her experience and is super laid back in her story telling. At the end of the podcast. The host points out how humble this mom is to be able to go with the flow and accept the fact that she wasn't able to have her desired homebirth.  BAM! That struck a chord for me. I need to exercise more humility. It's going to be good. It's going to take work and effort but I feel like it's going to work out just fine.

A Respected Preemie Vaginal Birth, with Hanley Rice - Birthful.com

just for kicks and giggles here is the other podcast episode that I listened too.

http://www.birthful.com/podcast-surviving-fussy-baby-postpartum-story//

 Oh how healing it's been to hear other mom's stories. Everett was such a hard baby.  I had had babies before and figured it wasn't going to be a big deal having another one.  But boy was I wrong. It was so tough. I think some of my fears about having another baby is because of Everett and My experience.  This episode talked about the mama bear instinct and finding a balance of letting others help, letting your baby feel safe expressing himself and other great views. I want to share this link with my Sister Laura who may be feeling frustrated at the moment but don't really feel like sharing unsolicited advice.

I think i'm trying to wrap my head around what it will be like having another child.  How will I balance, homeschooling and a new baby. I already feel like I'm failing with homeschooling and I have had thoughts and impressions of things that I need to do to help strengthen my children.  But I've also been in a place where I've been forced to focus on myself, my health and my needs. And now we're adding another spirit to the mix. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for our family.  I'm so grateful for general conference and the conference talks about personal revelation.

I was listening to a talk last night and this quote stood out to me Oh “how willing the Lord is to reveal His mind and will. The privilege of receiving revelation is one of the greatest gifts of God to His children.

Through the manifestations of the Holy Ghost, the Lord will assist us in all our righteous pursuit.”  Russell M. Nelson 

It's so true.  The Lord wants to share his light and knowledge with me.  But I first need to be worthy of it.  

another quote from President Uchtdorf also came to mind.  Concerning hope.  

"I have a cherished painting in my office that is titled Entrance to Enlightenment. It was created by a friend of mine, the Danish artist Johan Benthin, who was the first stake president in Copenhagen, Denmark.

The painting shows a dark room with an open door from which light is shining. It is interesting to me that the light coming through the door does not illuminate the entire room—only the space immediately in front of the door.

To me, the darkness and light in this painting are a metaphor for life. It is part of our condition as mortal beings to sometimes feel as though we are surrounded by darkness. We might have lost a loved one; a child might have strayed; we might have received a troubling medical diagnosis; we might have employment challenges and be burdened by doubts or fears; or we might feel alone or unloved.

But even though we may feel lost in the midst of our current circumstances, God promises the hope of His light—He promises to illuminate the way before us and show us the way out of darkness."

Today's sacrament talks where exactly what I needed to hear.  One was talking about sustaining our local leaders. My current bishop was called 6 months ago and I still don't know his name.  We've had a few bumps along the way and I've been stepping back and just observing everything. The speaker talked about how we need to pray for our local leaders to help them carry their burdens.  (and there are burdens to being a bishop that's for sure). Second he talked about exercising faith and supporting our bishop even when we don't reap rewards of fulfillment at the moment. I have a stronger desire to reach out and help in my ward.  It's been so long since I felt the desire to reach out. I've been so wrapped up in my surgery and pregnancy and moving that I've just put church on the back burner.
The second speaker talked about receiving revelation.  The speaker was talking about how if we are conflicted with feelings about our current leaders we need to seek the Lord and ask for confirmation about His choice of leadership.  I thought of Enoch and remembered how his prayer began with pleading for forgiveness. I had the thought "in order for me to feel good about my current bishopric, I need to first ask for forgiveness and then second help out".   I love learning new things. I've got my work cut out.

I love that this has been a time of growth for me and for our family.

I can't wait to see what comes next.

And if you made it to the end of my random thoughts. You win. hahhaahhaha thanks for listening.

Blessed to be a mom

The other day Everett was playing in the bath when I heard a soft cry.  I ran in to make sure he was okay.  He informed me that he put soap up  his rectum and it hurt.  hahahhahhaha  I'm grateful he was trying to clean all his body.  Lesson learned.


I love seeing my favorite traits of James in my kids.   Gwenevere learns so much like James and I love teaching her.  Gwenevere is also laid back and easy going, eager to help when she can.  Grace likes to get completely dressed and ready for the day before coming out of her bedroom in the morning.  I'm not a morning person so I keep my pjs on until it's time to leave the house.  James is a get up and make something happen kind of guy.  I love that about Grace.  Everett has the same facial expressions as James it's fun to see how much they are alike and yet be completely different people.


Today Grace was playing outside by herself and James called me over to window to watch.  Outside Grace was rocking out on her imaginary guitar like no one was watching.  This made James so happy.

This morning while I was eating breakfast I was thinking about a message a neighbor sent me about how it's impossible to prepare for birth.  For some reason I had a flash back of the last ten years of my life and how the majority of that time has been focused on bringing children into this world and raising them.  I felt so blessed and immediately wanted to get up and find James to tell him Thank you.  Thank you for making my dreams come true.  Thank you for sacrificing for this time in our lives.  I love being a mom.  I love it with all my heart.

Bonus:  Baby had hiccups for the first time.  I woke up to some rhythmic chicks and soon remember "oh yeah, babies get hiccups." so fun to notice a first.  It's been a while. 


That's it.  I just had to pause and write these thoughts down before they disappeared.

Happy Friday.

Lessons from the House of the Lord

In the temple yesterday, out of the blue I remembered the name Elias and got all excited.  But I knew James wouldn't be a fan of the name. So then I thought what if we called him Eli for short? "Eli the barrow boy...."  Maybe. just maybe. The rest of the time I kept trying to figure out if I'd use Elias as a middle name or a first name and what other names we liked that would sound good with it.  hehehehehehe

Nothing really stood out, and when I told James after the temple he was like "nah, I don't really like that name." hahahaha So who knows. But I love the idea that this baby is connected to the temple.  I prayed for him in the temple, I feel connected to him when I go to the temple and so on.

But that wasn't all that I thought about while in the temple last night.  Last night was AMAZING!

I'm so glad we where able to go.  So so so glad.

It's crazy how fast the peace and comfort of the Lord's house came to me.  It is truly a place of personal revelation and learning.

Bonus, Twin Falls has a temple.

We'd be closer to the temple

I have come to realize that our choice to move isn't a right or wrong choice. I try to think more in the lines of good, better, best.  What is the best choice for us?

I know we'd be blessed with any decision we made.  and maybe there isn't' a best choice.

If we lived in Twin Falls we'd see James less.  He'd have to work more. If we lived in Springfield we'd have more family time but we'd probably wouldn't visit my family as often because the budget would be tighter.

James has countlessly researched ways for me to be closer to my family. He is always so thoughtful about finding ways for me to spend time with my siblings and for our kids to grow up knowing their cousins on both sides of the family.

Heavenly Father walked me through both options in a beautiful peaceful way.  I see the Lord's path in both decisions. We found a house in Twin Falls with a little mother in law apartment.  I could see Alisha living next to us in the apartment. She's been dreaming of moving out on her own but that's just not the right thing at the moment.  We could help her.

Attending Aunt Shelly's funeral last spring was so emotionally hard on me.  I could see me back at the funeral home in 40 years attending Alisha funeral, listening to her life story about her happy childhood.  her time living with my parents and then her time living in as assistant living home. It's crazy the abuse and neglect my aunt went through.  The struggle my other relatives had taking care of her. But also seeing the immense amount of revelation about her life to come. The rewards my aunt Shelly is receiving now that she has passed on.

I know the Lord would love for me to take care of Alisha.  I know that if we move to Twin Falls that could be a possibility for her. but a very difficult burned on my own family as well.

Then I saw us living in Eugene.  Our nuclear family bonds strengthen, my marriage strong and life being good. simple, beautiful and good. We'd be living in the PNW the place that feels like home to both James and I. We'd be close to James' siblings something I am always longing for. There is good in all our choices. I think that is what makes them hard.

My anxiety this past week has really been about delivering the baby in a new area. My own health failing me and the struggle of being at peace with knowing when our family will be complete. I didn't see exactly how that would play out but the Lord blessed me to know that I would be well cared for in either place.  It was so good to have those feelings of fear washed away but my Savior's love.

James, questioned why the decision to leave his job here came so strong and felt so right but the decision on where to go hasn't been that easy.

He wonders if we still need to look other places?  We did a quick search last night we found jobs in Germany and Japan, we found a job in Salem Or and a few in AZ. But at the same time he also feels like the two option that we have right now would be a good ones.

The best part about going to temple last night was the impression I felt while watching Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. I was impressed with Eve's excitement to covenant to God that she would follow Adam as Adam followed the Lord.  It was at that moment, before any of the other thoughts had entered my mind that I realized this decision, the decision of where we need to move, needs to be James' decision. Between him and the Lord.  And my job was support their relationship as the Lord counsels James.

It felt so good to learn these beautiful truths.

No matter what we do,  it's going to be good. No matter what James decides I can support him and cheer for him.

And honestly i'm excited to remove the burden that I need to be part of making that choice.

All I can do is praise my Savior, the plan of Happiness and the beautiful blessings that come from following his voice.

baby bump update 19 weeks and growing

Butterflies

I lie awake a wait to feel His tiny kicks.  As still as can be, a wait.  And wait. 

The butterflies I feel come but not in the uterus where they belong.  I feel them in my chest.  they are random and chaotic and I can feel them building up. 

Thankfully
During Pregnancy a mother's blood levels increase.  This extra blood results in a heart rate that's about 25 percent faster than usual. A faster heart rate can result in occasional heart palpitations. These feel like your heart is fluttering or beating extremely fast.Heart palpitations can be normal and non harmful during pregnancy.

Kicks

I felt baby's first kick on March 29th, 2018 at around 7 pm at night.  We had just come inside from swimming with cousins all day.  My belly exposed to the warm sun.  We invited all the cousins back to our room for ice cream and a movie.  I think Baby wanted to say he was happy to be with us.  It was a strong kick.   YAY!  

Diabetes

At my 14 week appointment I asked my midwife if I could get a gestational diabetes test early.  I know I'm weird but I was gaining weight fast and I wanted to make sure I was doing all I can to keep my weight in check.  It's been hard because I've been eating my emotions and justifying it because I'm pregnant.  Too many treats and carbs.  

I took the test right away because I wanted to know sooner than later.  

At my 18 week appointment I got my test results back.  and Yes I have gestational diabetes.  James was actually excited because If I eat Keto it will be easier for him to eat Keto.  hehehehe  no more sugar treats for us.  

Emotional

Pregnancy brings out all my emotions.  But I've been struggling with feeling sad a lot this pregnancy.  It comes in waves and takes over all of me.  Usually a good cry helps relieve those feelings.  But fear feeds my sadness.  It's just been a crazy pregnancy to process.  But in the end I hope to find immense happiness and love.  With low platelets, and diabetes I fear I won't qualify to have a home birth.  My midwife is very supportive of offering me a homebirth if at all possible.  But life is going to change so much between now and when baby comes.  I wonder if I'll be able to find a new midwife who will be open to letting me try a homebirth.  Please please pray for me.  Pray I will know what i need to do to stay healthy.  Pray that I can find the right caregiver wherever we move.  Pray that I will have a change of heart and be able to thoroughly enjoy the delivery experience wherever it may be.  Pray that I will know what to pray for and how to seek the Lord's guidance.