It's nice to be needed

Tonight James told me this story after I returned home from enrichment.

Everett asked Papa to put on his socks.  After James put the socks on Everett's feet, Everett went to his room and found his boots.   He put them on his feet and then went to the front door.  He carefully unlocked the door and then the dead bolt.  He then opened the door and went outside.  James asked Everett where he was going and Everett replied  "I need my Mama."

James explained to Everett that I was gone.  That's when Everett lost it.  He started crying with tears running down his face; he repeated his sentiment,  "I need my mama.  I need my mama."

Eventually Everett calmed down and fell asleep.  

When James shared this story with me, I knew what he meant.  From the very first day Everett was born,  He needed me.  There were so many times I would ask James, half begging him to just take Everett and hold him for me.    James is usually the baby whisper in our family but no matter how hard James tried, there were some times that the only thing that would calm our baby boy down was my touch.  

Everett has helped me become a better mom is so many ways.  Patients is the first thing that comes to mind.  

There were days and are days I think to myself.  Am I hurting or helping my child by trying to meet his every need.  I still don't know the answer but I know Love is patient, and kind, and long suffering.   There will be time for him to grow up,  I don't need to rush it along.  Everett's need to live in the moment might be the biggest thing keeping me in the moment and not just a spectator watching the moments go by.    

I feel that if I try to show my children Christ like love they too will be able to share His love with others.  

I try to be slow when judging my children and I try to give them the love and patients they need to grow and make good choices.   

I'm grateful to have given Everett 2 plus years to be the baby.  I'm glad I haven't rushed him to walk or to talk or to be big.  I'm glad I didn't force him to go to Nursery until he was ready, or tell him to be taught when he was scared and wanted me to hold him all night.  

Just as Everett needed to be the baby,  I've needed him to be the baby.  Maybe it's because I know he will need to grow up someday and leave our home.  or maybe it's just because he's always been that way.  I don't know.  I'll I know is the two of us have a special bond that I can't quite explain.  

It's a bond between a Mother and her son.  

Thank you Everett for being my son.